Insane Plumber Terrorizes Restaurant!
by Teekoness
Summary: Mario Mario, last and first names identical, was hauled off to Mushroom Penitentiary yesterday after violently violating the restraining order concerning himself and Princess Peach Toadstool... see page 4 for further details


**Title:** Insane Plumber Terrorizes Restaurant!

**Status: **One-shot

**World: **Nintendo's Mario

**Characters:** Mario, Princess Peach, Bowser

**Rating:** G

**Genre:** Humour

**Author's Note: **This fic is a partial rewrite of fic I wrote when I was sixteen. I hope you guys enjoy.

**Summary:** Mario Mario (last and first names identical) was hauled off to Mushroom Penitentiary yesterday after violently violating the restraining order concerning himself and Princess Peach Toadstool… (see page 4 for further details)

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Thursday, June 3, 2010

**Mushroom Times**

_Bringing you the magic of the real world…_

**Insane Plumber Terrorizes Restaurant!**

Mario Mario (last and first names identical) was hauled off to Mushroom Penitentiary yesterday after violently violating the restraining order concerning himself and Princess Peach Toadstool by assaulting her boyfriend visiting king Bowser Morton Koopa while they were having dinner at a local restaurant. According to the other diners, Mario appeared around seven o'clock and was reported "wildly" waving a plunger and tossing bricks at the waiters, calling them "evil reptile minions".

"He kept on raving about kidnappings… he sounded quite mad," reflects one patron who spoke under the condition of being kept anonymous. "I could've sworn that he was going to kill us all." It was also reported that Mario attempted to jump on the heads and backs of various restaurant patrons. It wasn't until the police task force arrived that Mario's rampage was finally stopped.

When asked about her relationship with Mario, Toadstool stated that she had hired one day to fix her toilet. Afterwards, he started following her around, claiming that he was her protector. His dangerous behavior became more apparent when he attacked her then-boyfriend Donkey Kong Senior in '81.(1) While Kong recovered, Mario's obsession did not end there. The following year Kong Senior was kidnapped by the insane plumber as "retaliation for his treatment of [Toadstool]". Thankfully the incident was resolved with minimal injuries as Kong's son Donkey Kong Junior managed to rescue him,(2) but the relationship between Kong Senior and Toadstool deteriorated shortly afterward.

Though Mario was incarcerated for a time, his behavior remained unchanged. His release in '83(3) only meant he resumed his stalker tendencies towards the princess. "He went as far to say that he was 'rescuing' me…" Toadstool recounts. "I don't want this type of rescuing, especially when the rescuer is him. If hadn't been for Bowsie, I don't know what I would've done. He's always been there for me and he won't let Mario drive him out of my life unless I want him to."

"Peach doesn't deserve this treatment. She's a tough confident woman and my kids love her. What I don't get is why so few people realize what he is doing?" comments Koopa. "Doesn't it seem a bit odd that I 'capture' her so often?"

"He has created a fantasy world where he is the hero—a classic Messiah complex," said Dr. McNally, head of Shroom Psychiatric Hospital, "This fantasy world of his is so vivid that he has managed to suck countless other people in. In some countries he has a cult following of millions who spend countless hours obsessing over his so-called adventures."

While Mario will be on trial next Friday, Koopa and Toadstool are still uneasy. "He's a mad man. The worst part is that no matter how things change, he keeps on coming back. I just want these games to end."

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Notes

Warning: It has come to our attention that members of the Mario Cult have been known to hack Wikipedia. These sources may be tampered with.

1. See .org/wiki/Donkey_Kong_(video_game) for further details.

2. See .org/wiki/Donkey_Kong_Junior_(video_game) for further details.

3. See .org/wiki/Mario_Bros. for further details.


End file.
